Tim Horton's coffee 
double-double 
want's out 
I'm walking 
across Confederation Square  
can't cross my legs  
walk - and hold in the pee 
at the same time 
... 
oh oh 
flashing thoughts 
of warm pee running down my legs 
the embarrassment 
people seeing 
a trail of pee behind me 
must stop thinking 
... 
remembering  that day 
when I was nine 
wore short pants 
dumped in my pants 
all gooey - runny - ran down my legs 
ten - blocks away from home 
everyone was looking at me  
must stop thinking 
stop thinking 
... 
I see the Chateau Laurier Hotel 
I'll make it 
dam it - the light changed red 
hurry hurry hurry 
these lights are so bloody slow 
ahhh - green light 
nothing will stop me now 
I'm through the main door 
a driven man I am 
I move quickly and decisively 
through the lobby and sitting areas 
straight to the men's room 
through two sets of doors 
without slowing down 
(classy washrooms always have two sets of doors) 
rushed towards the row of urinals 
hanging from the wall 
hanging with their open 
kangaroo like pouches 
waiting to serve 
men in need  
... 
I could see 
the first urinal 
was blocked 
a pool of 
yellow green pee 
threatening to vomit 
... 
quickly changing direction 
rushed to the far pee pouch 
looked down 
a pile of grey hair 
nested in the pee pouch bottom 
got-to-pee 
no time to be fussy 
grabbed my Monty 
ahhhhhhhhhhhh 
man's  favorite sound of success 
Monty - my fire hose 
burst forth 
even in this moment of desperate need 
Monty had fun 
blasting the pile of grey hair 
one by one 
chasing the scattered grey hairs 
round the pee pouch 
blasting them from the walls  
I was feeling better by the moment 
making those 
ahhhhhhhhhhhh 
sounds of manly success 

my mind was now free 
free to think of other things 
no longer held prisoner 
to my bodies dictates 
it had gone back to sleep 
... 
I thought back 
to my kid days 
when we had competitions 
who could pee-write 
their whole name 
in the snow 
having a long name 
I always ran out of pee 
but - I did win 
all the 
distance peeing contests 
those were the days 
... 
I often think 
my tv remote 
is like my Monty 
the way I surf through the channels 
... 
I wonder if my pubic hair 
will some day go grey 
will it fall out 
like the pile of grey hair 
in the pee pouch 
I wonder how it will happen 
will I be standing at a pee pouch - peeing 
suddenly they all fall out 
into the pee pouch 
like the previous guy 
... 
got to stop thinking about this 
I am becoming obsessive 
obsessive about my pubic hair falling out 
how stupid can I be 
... 
they make head hair wigs 
I wonder if they make 
pubic hair wigs 
... 
imagine making love 
when suddenly 
she jumps up - shouts 
-your Monty's bald-  
I must stop thinking 
about My Monty going bald 
this is ridicules 
I'll drive myself crazy 
silence up there in my head 
no-more 
Monty going bald - stuff 
send me something else 
but... 
s-i-l-e-n-c-e 
... 

keith o'connor 
01-10-25 
ottawa ont canada 
www.tinmangallery.com